Patience During Divorce

BY Leslie Thompson | CFA®, CPA, CDFA™, Chief Investment Officer, Co-Founder | Jul 28, 2021

Many people wonder, how do I get through this waiting period?  You could be waiting for your spouse to respond or waiting to hear from your attorney, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™), or Accountant.  The divorce process can be daunting, but patience can be one of your best assets while going through a divorce. 

If patience is something you struggle with, there is no better time like the present to learn its value.  Here are a few tips we recommend that can help you while you’re in the middle of the waiting process.

Don’t Focus on Instant Gratification

Emotions can be volatile during a divorce.  When your spouse reaching out to you, attempting to start an argument, don’t respond immediately.  Make them wait.  Respond when you have had time to let go of the anger you’re feeling.  Assess if there is a reason for the comment and anything of value being said or asked of you.  Know that these argumentative messages are intended to get a reaction from you, either to reach a settlement or for you to stoop to their level and let them get what they want.  Don’t make any decisions regarding finances, parenting, or child custody when emotions are high.

Focus on the Facts

There are so many unknowns during the waiting period of the divorce process.  Where will I live?  Can I afford the same lifestyle for myself and my children?  When will this process be over?  How do I start my life over?  These are all valid questions and can create a lot of confusion.  The answers may not come today, but they will come in time.  Getting your thoughts down on paper can help you work through your emotions and focus on your goals.  Start journaling.  Write down questions you want to be answered.  If you want to know what you can afford, complete a Lifestyle Analysis.  If you need to rejoin the workforce, update your resume, obtain recertifications (when applicable), and work with a recruiter or career coach.  If you stay focused and put in the work, things will fall into place.

Listen to Your Divorce Team

If you have assembled a team of divorce professionals, listen to them.  If you agree with their guidance, follow it.  Don’t focus on waiting for responses and outcomes. Trust that your team knows what they are doing.  If your intuition is telling you not to agree with their suggestions, discuss it with them.

Having a voice during your divorce can help empower you to move forward in the process with confidence.  A good divorce team will listen to you and advise you to address your concerns based on their knowledge, resources, and experience with other clients in similar situations. 

Seeing is Believing

While you’re in the middle of the waiting process, envision happiness, believe that you will get through this situation, and start moving forward.  You’re not alone and not the only person who feels this way.  Many people are in the same boat, waiting to get to the other side of divorce. 

You will get through this.  Trust your divorce team, the process, focus on facts, and don’t expect instant gratification.

Ready to talk with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?  Contact Us today to schedule a consultation with Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA™) Leslie Thompson.

This content is developed from sources believed to be providing accurate information, and provided by Spectrum Management Group. It may not be used for the purpose of avoiding any federal tax penalties. Please consult legal or tax professionals for specific information regarding your individual situation. The opinions expressed and material provided are for general information, and should not be considered a solicitation for the purchase or sale of any security.